I have decided to start a series called “Dealing with it”. I will post one each month; maybe with an issue going on during that month, with something I personally dealt with during that month, or even something that just needs to be said about an issue. With this series, I will discuss things that we all go through every day in the world. It helps if we tell our story and release that burden because we feel better and even may help others in the process. The first topic is something I have struggled with for years and still somewhat deal with it, which is depression and anxiety. Going up, I wasn’t happy with my weight. In late elementary, I began to realize I was smaller than the other girls. Guys would call me skinny. It didn’t bother me as much until I began junior high. During that time, I reached puberty and its normal during this time that boys and girls start “dating”. I had no problem getting and keeping boyfriends. I actually met my first love during this time. I still was faced with others telling me, “you’re so skinny”. Although now I am aware that I am naturally supposed to be skinny. My father is 53, while weighing only 130 pounds. My mother remained smaller throughout her life until she had me and my brother. I didn’t gain confidence in myself until freshman year of college. After dealing with my weight throughout high school, I consulted my doctor (as well as all throughout high school) about ways to gain weight. She would always tell me to eat differently before prescribing me a medicine. After being in junior high and freshman in high school, I only weigh 85 pounds and a height of 5’4″. I somehow gained 10 pounds throughout high school. I was pretty desperate to gain weight. After I graduated high school, my doctor finally prescribed me something that worked called Megace ES (learn about it HERE, and no I do not have AIDs. This is a general medicine used to help with gaining of weight). This medicine worked great, it gave me a great appetite and I was eating three times a day, and I packed on 10 pounds in 2 months. With most medicines though comes side effects, I had every side effect possible while taking this medicine. I had bad feet swelling; it completely stopped my menstrual cycle; and ruined my bladder (earlier in January, I was diagnosed with Overactive Bladder). As soon as I consulted my doctor and she figured out what was going on, she took me off the medicine and I lost the 10 pounds almost immediately. Since then, I have been borderline 100 pounds.
You are probably wondering, “She is suppose to be talking about Depression and Anxiety.” Well, everyone has a story or a trigger that gets them anxious or in a depressed state. I have been to my lowest point because I believe someone didn’t like me because of how my body looked. It is so hard to accept yourself after many people think you should look another way. I believe, especially as women, to express how loving yourself and your body is important to younger girls. Loving yourself can only make things in your life easier, especially relationships.
With anxiety, I struggle more with today then depression. I was a shy person going up. Any type of public speaking makes me feel very anxious and nervous. With anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, you have to do it more until you are comfortable or until it makes you feel better about it. It all about doing what makes you genuinely happy.
With this post, I hope to inspire people and help other people deal with their depression and/or anxiety. Depression and Anxiety can be a disease and can break someone down. If you need help or you know someone who needs help, please use the resources available. I have listed links and numbers below.
National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273 TALK (8255)
Do you have a story you want to share?
I would love for you to tell me about it in the comments below!
Thank you so much for reading Curls!